If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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