and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
