i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
