I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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