Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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