Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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