I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
