he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
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Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
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My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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