i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize