She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
