It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
