U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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