i'm signing you up for texting rehab
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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