I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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