my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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