we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
