if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
