I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
