Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
