I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
