she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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