i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
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Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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