I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
