a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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