Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
