What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
