I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
