he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize