I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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