whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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