I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
