p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
