Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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