He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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