I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
