when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
