I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
