ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
