dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
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Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
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