oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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