That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize