im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
