She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
