I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
