Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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