Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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