3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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