I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i dont even know how to be here
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
