so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize