Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
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