hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
