So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
