Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he fucked my hip out of place.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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