just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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