I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
