Swine flu. Run for my life!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
