He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
