last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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