Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Randomize
