When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
