Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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