his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
