i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
