but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
