i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
