Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
